I don't know if you have ever watched QVC but it is a home shopping channel on TV. I started buying the majority of my clothes from them about five years ago. I would watch the fashion shows day after day and they have very wide variety of clothes. They sell everything from underwear, bras and socks, to super casual stretchy comfy things, causal work wear, and designer collections from people like Isaac Mizrahi, Bob Mackie and the Kardashians.
Ok, I get it its a little weird, but is it weirder than buying clothes online from old navy, Walmart or Macy's? I don't think so. And here is why QVC is my clothing store of choice.
THEY HAVE EVERYTHING IN MY SIZE!!!!! And everything costs the same no matter what size.
No matter what size I have ever been, 3x at my largest and somewhere between XL and 1x today. Every item, everyday comes in size XXsmall to 3X. Every style, every color, every item. Who else does that ? I can have what ever I want I can have the sweaters, the jeans, the dresses, the soft PJs...
When I started buying from them it was mostly because I couldn't find much of anything I both liked and fit me in the stores, not at the mall, Target, Walmart or any other place I could find. Sure there are those speciality stores like Lane Bryant and Torrid carry the right size but somehow they think they should charge me $30 for a T-shirt and $70 for a pair of jeans. And if I found something in a "normal store" they often marked up my size $5 for "extended sixes"
It had been a couple years since I shopped in stores for clothes and a couple weeks ago I ventured out to the mall. I found that in many stores I am now in their largest size, though some people's version of extra large are cut to fit an extra large chihuahua. But I hated most of the clothes, was frustrated at the limited number of styles and colors and had sticker shock.
By the time I had worked my way through one of the largest malls in Washington State, I was feeling sad and defeated, fat and ugly. The only thing I bought was a cup of clam chowder at Ivars. Great, just what I need shopping equals eating and feeling sad...so not a good combo for me.
Yesterday was Fashion Day on QVC something they do every three months or so to introduce the new styles and collections for the coming season. I tuned in and there I again found that even if I'm ordering from the middle of the size chart they still are my style.
I am not really trying to write this blog as an ad for QVC. The real point I am trying to make is that in my mind they de-stigmatized shopping for clothes. They don't discriminate based on size biggest to smallest, they offer almost every style in a variety if colors, so if I want an all pink wardrobe, no problem. And they show things on models walking around in a variety if sizes from petite extra small to 1x. Most of all they don't act like this is a big deal or something special, they just do it every day. So I'll keep buying and I'm ok with that.
Sunday, May 5, 2013
Saturday, April 13, 2013
You look great! Did you get your hair cut?
This week I got my hair cut and colored, just shorter and brighter. This has been a big topic of conversation wherever I go and whoever I see. I get compliments all day long, "wow your hair looks great"," I love the hair"," that cut really suits you", "where did you get your hair done it looks great", "you look so good, I love the new hair cut". Yes I cut my hair, but don't you think that maybe the real thing you are seeing is the effects of my weight loss?
And then there are the people who say, "have you lost weight? You look great?" when they saw me two days ago and the only thing that had changed inbetween is that I got my hair cut.
Now I will give you I got a great haircut and really enjoyed my new stylist who did my hair. I think that I look good and it definately updated my look. But I am confused how it is I look thinner with a new hair cut. How is that possible? What is it about a change in my hair that creates and optical illusion of thinness?
If I had only known I would have cut my hair sooner and not bothered with the whole weight loss thing..NOT but still it's a strange thing for me.
My husbands theory is that people don't really look at you, that they have an image in their head that is their default setting of what you look like. Like having a pic that pops up on your cell phone when someone calls. So if you are making gradual changes like weight loss the people who see you regularly don't update their internal pic of you.
However when you do something a little more obvious like change your hair length or color then it forces them to re-set their picture of you in their head and they suddenly notice you look different.
Thank you everyone for your compliments, I REALLY appreciate it and they go a long way towards me wanting and needing to keep making more improvements to me. I don't care if you think I am skinnier, taller, have new hair, new teeth or anything else, keep the "you look greats" coming and I will smile and say "Thank you, I feel great".
And then there are the people who say, "have you lost weight? You look great?" when they saw me two days ago and the only thing that had changed inbetween is that I got my hair cut.
Now I will give you I got a great haircut and really enjoyed my new stylist who did my hair. I think that I look good and it definately updated my look. But I am confused how it is I look thinner with a new hair cut. How is that possible? What is it about a change in my hair that creates and optical illusion of thinness?
If I had only known I would have cut my hair sooner and not bothered with the whole weight loss thing..NOT but still it's a strange thing for me.
My husbands theory is that people don't really look at you, that they have an image in their head that is their default setting of what you look like. Like having a pic that pops up on your cell phone when someone calls. So if you are making gradual changes like weight loss the people who see you regularly don't update their internal pic of you.
However when you do something a little more obvious like change your hair length or color then it forces them to re-set their picture of you in their head and they suddenly notice you look different.
Thank you everyone for your compliments, I REALLY appreciate it and they go a long way towards me wanting and needing to keep making more improvements to me. I don't care if you think I am skinnier, taller, have new hair, new teeth or anything else, keep the "you look greats" coming and I will smile and say "Thank you, I feel great".
Sunday, March 24, 2013
Cooking weekends
Prior to my weight loss surgery I used to cook all day on Sunday. Making things that would be in our fridge for the coming week. That way my family and I would have yummy things to eat that were ready for us when we were ready to eat. Then I would post on facebook a list and sometimes pictures of what I had cooked over the weekend.
After my surgery I quit cooking. I just did not find that I had any desire to do it. I have been mostly eating things like sliced cheese, sliced lunch meat, hummus with cucumber chips, protein drinks, hamburger patties, salmon, yogurt, and various combinations of the above examples for most meals, most days.
Last weekend my brother came to visit and to have lunch with me. I asked him what he was hungry for that I could make him and he said anything wound be fine. I remembered that I had wanted to try the Chicken Parmigiana recipe that I had read on the Pioneer Woman website and made it for him.
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/10/chicken-parmigiana/
This got me inspired to do some more cooking. So next I made homemade macaroni and cheese and roasted kielbasa with bbq sauce. Then chicken enchiladas casserole.
This weekend I started thinking about things I could make that I could easily put in my lunch. Since I focus mainly on eating protein and needing things that are easy to eat in small portions of on the go I thought about things that would be party finger food. I made a high protein guacamole using avacados and fat free greek yogurt. Next I made unstuffed deviled eggs. I made the filling and put it in a container then put the whites in a separate container so I can fill them as I want them, keeps them from getting spilled in my lunch bag like they would if I pre filled them.
Finally I put chicken cacciatore in the crockpot.
It feels good to be planning food and cooking again. I forgot how much I enjoyed it. Hopefully it will also help me get more variety in my diet, was getting kind of tired of cold cuts and cheese.
After my surgery I quit cooking. I just did not find that I had any desire to do it. I have been mostly eating things like sliced cheese, sliced lunch meat, hummus with cucumber chips, protein drinks, hamburger patties, salmon, yogurt, and various combinations of the above examples for most meals, most days.
Last weekend my brother came to visit and to have lunch with me. I asked him what he was hungry for that I could make him and he said anything wound be fine. I remembered that I had wanted to try the Chicken Parmigiana recipe that I had read on the Pioneer Woman website and made it for him.
http://thepioneerwoman.com/cooking/2009/10/chicken-parmigiana/
This got me inspired to do some more cooking. So next I made homemade macaroni and cheese and roasted kielbasa with bbq sauce. Then chicken enchiladas casserole.
This weekend I started thinking about things I could make that I could easily put in my lunch. Since I focus mainly on eating protein and needing things that are easy to eat in small portions of on the go I thought about things that would be party finger food. I made a high protein guacamole using avacados and fat free greek yogurt. Next I made unstuffed deviled eggs. I made the filling and put it in a container then put the whites in a separate container so I can fill them as I want them, keeps them from getting spilled in my lunch bag like they would if I pre filled them.
Finally I put chicken cacciatore in the crockpot.
It feels good to be planning food and cooking again. I forgot how much I enjoyed it. Hopefully it will also help me get more variety in my diet, was getting kind of tired of cold cuts and cheese.
Wednesday, March 13, 2013
Progressing toward 5K goals
I have officially started running/walking/wogging again. About a year or more ago I started a Couch to 5K program to try and get to a point where I could jog a 5K race. I eventually achieved a VERY slow run combined with some walking and could complete a 5K in right at an hour. I really had in my head that I wanted to be able to run the whole thing but at in excess of 250lbs it didn't really happen. My sister coined the term "wogging" as a combination of walking and jogging. My brother says it was really waddling... Now that I am cleared to do as much as I want physically, I am again pursuing running. I started with walking and then in recent weeks have added more slow running. I am trying to walk nearly every day for at least 30 minutes not really worrying about speed or distance. Then on Saturday for the last 3 weeks I have done a 5K distance (3.2 miles) as fast as I could. Last week I got under 50 minutes which was a personal best so I am pretty happy calling that progress.
When I was working on this last time I did the Holiday 5K in Portland Oregon with my brother (the same one who made the waddling comment). He finished at a faster time that me even though I was the one who was training. Though I put on a happy face at the time, I was really a little disappointed that I hadn't beaten him. This weekend is my chance to redeem myself, even if in my own eyes. He is running in the St. Patrick's day run in Portland. I will not be there, but plan to start running my own personal run at the same time he is running. Kind of running along virtually. I will be using a time and distance application on my phone to see how fast I complete the 5K. I hope this time my time will be better than his or at least better than my own best.
I will keep you posted.
When I was working on this last time I did the Holiday 5K in Portland Oregon with my brother (the same one who made the waddling comment). He finished at a faster time that me even though I was the one who was training. Though I put on a happy face at the time, I was really a little disappointed that I hadn't beaten him. This weekend is my chance to redeem myself, even if in my own eyes. He is running in the St. Patrick's day run in Portland. I will not be there, but plan to start running my own personal run at the same time he is running. Kind of running along virtually. I will be using a time and distance application on my phone to see how fast I complete the 5K. I hope this time my time will be better than his or at least better than my own best.
I will keep you posted.
Sunday, March 3, 2013
If you don't eat it, it must taste bad
I have had the good fortune to have gone out to dinner with two different friends in the last couple of weeks. Neither of them had been out with me since I had my weight loss surgery in December. However they were both very aware of this life changing event and very supportive.
These meals out brought up a couple of new things for me.
First it turns out now matter how you explain to friends or others that you can only eat 1/4 to 1/2 cup of food at a time, they don't really understand what that looks like until you are eating a meal with them. The first night out I ordered a roasted chicken dinner, it was half a chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans. I asked the waiter to bring the potatoes in a to go box because I knew I wasn't going to eat them and that others in my family would enjoy the left overs. Then I ate about a third of the chicken breast from the chicken, three green beans and set my plate aside. At first my friend thought I was kidding when I said I was finished, but really I was full and finished. I joked and told him thanks for buying me a weeks worth of food...
The other thing that happened was that the waiter returned to our table several times, asking if everything was ok with my food once I stopped eating. He even at one point asked me if he could bring me something else instead. Each time I told him my food was just fine and that I was just someone who ate a small amount at a time. He seemed very disbelieving of these statements. Later I thought, hey really I know I ate a small amount but who really should eat an entire half a chicken, plus mashed potatoes plus green beans...I know that's the serving they were putting out but really should we eat that much?
In the second case we had breakfast for dinner, I ordered a veggie omelet. The waitress asked me what kind of potatoes I wanted with it, I declined then she said would you like a fruit bowl with that instead. I told her she could bring me the fruit in a to go container. Then she said would you like toast, muffin or biscuit. I again declined and she looked at me with frustration.....I said really just bring me the omelet. After eating a third of my omelet I set aside and was again asked if I had liked my food and if they could replace it with something I liked better....I said no thank you that it had been very good and could I please have a to go box with for the rest of my food.
Really world, no wonder we over eat, no only are the portions huge but if we don't eat them, then somehow that means it tasted bad or was a food we didn't like.....I swear I love food and only order food I like, I don't have to eat it all to prove it.
These meals out brought up a couple of new things for me.
First it turns out now matter how you explain to friends or others that you can only eat 1/4 to 1/2 cup of food at a time, they don't really understand what that looks like until you are eating a meal with them. The first night out I ordered a roasted chicken dinner, it was half a chicken, mashed potatoes and green beans. I asked the waiter to bring the potatoes in a to go box because I knew I wasn't going to eat them and that others in my family would enjoy the left overs. Then I ate about a third of the chicken breast from the chicken, three green beans and set my plate aside. At first my friend thought I was kidding when I said I was finished, but really I was full and finished. I joked and told him thanks for buying me a weeks worth of food...
The other thing that happened was that the waiter returned to our table several times, asking if everything was ok with my food once I stopped eating. He even at one point asked me if he could bring me something else instead. Each time I told him my food was just fine and that I was just someone who ate a small amount at a time. He seemed very disbelieving of these statements. Later I thought, hey really I know I ate a small amount but who really should eat an entire half a chicken, plus mashed potatoes plus green beans...I know that's the serving they were putting out but really should we eat that much?
In the second case we had breakfast for dinner, I ordered a veggie omelet. The waitress asked me what kind of potatoes I wanted with it, I declined then she said would you like a fruit bowl with that instead. I told her she could bring me the fruit in a to go container. Then she said would you like toast, muffin or biscuit. I again declined and she looked at me with frustration.....I said really just bring me the omelet. After eating a third of my omelet I set aside and was again asked if I had liked my food and if they could replace it with something I liked better....I said no thank you that it had been very good and could I please have a to go box with for the rest of my food.
Really world, no wonder we over eat, no only are the portions huge but if we don't eat them, then somehow that means it tasted bad or was a food we didn't like.....I swear I love food and only order food I like, I don't have to eat it all to prove it.
Monday, February 11, 2013
Middle number progress
This week after what seemed like a never ending stalemate with the scale the middle number on my weight changed. And by changed I mean went down. I have seen it go up a multitude of times over my life but this time it went down.
I was extremely happy to see it go down because last week in spite of all my efforts to be careful about what I was eating, increasing my exercise and staying focused there was no movement.
I don't know what it is about my impatience with this process but it is at times all consuming and overwhelming. I have worked to lose weight before and I have ignored my weight gains and losses too. It's like because I made this big physical and financial commitment it can't happen fast enough to keep me satisfied. In regular dieting I always had this "I need to diet until" mentality. Like until these pants fit or until my weight is down 20lbs or until I reach a certain middle number on the scale. But this time it's forever, there will be no going back the change is physical and permanent, so once the weight is gone it's gone. And I WANT it gone now....
I was extremely happy to see it go down because last week in spite of all my efforts to be careful about what I was eating, increasing my exercise and staying focused there was no movement.
I don't know what it is about my impatience with this process but it is at times all consuming and overwhelming. I have worked to lose weight before and I have ignored my weight gains and losses too. It's like because I made this big physical and financial commitment it can't happen fast enough to keep me satisfied. In regular dieting I always had this "I need to diet until" mentality. Like until these pants fit or until my weight is down 20lbs or until I reach a certain middle number on the scale. But this time it's forever, there will be no going back the change is physical and permanent, so once the weight is gone it's gone. And I WANT it gone now....
Monday, February 4, 2013
Ode To Diet Coke
When I was young my mom bought me Tab
and I thought the pink can was fab.
It wasn't any fun to be the chubby girl is school,
and drinking diet drinks were considered uncool.
Then Diet Coke arrived on the scene
it came with a great marketing scheme.
Skinny people were drinking it
and famous people were slurping it
I was hooked on this bubbly drink and so it seems was everyone
It went well with pizza and I rarely had only one.
Then I started drinking it with breakfast
while others drank coffee to get the morning started fast.
Five or six a day of these silver cans with diet Coke in red
One even next to my head, when I went to bed
In November I decided to change everything forever
I would have weight loss surgery on this I wouldn't waiver.
Now all my eating has changed as my stomach is small
It holds hardly anything at all
But this biggest change, the hardest one
Is that diet Coke and I are done.
and I thought the pink can was fab.
It wasn't any fun to be the chubby girl is school,
and drinking diet drinks were considered uncool.
Then Diet Coke arrived on the scene
it came with a great marketing scheme.
Skinny people were drinking it
and famous people were slurping it
I was hooked on this bubbly drink and so it seems was everyone
It went well with pizza and I rarely had only one.
Then I started drinking it with breakfast
while others drank coffee to get the morning started fast.
Five or six a day of these silver cans with diet Coke in red
One even next to my head, when I went to bed
In November I decided to change everything forever
I would have weight loss surgery on this I wouldn't waiver.
Now all my eating has changed as my stomach is small
It holds hardly anything at all
But this biggest change, the hardest one
Is that diet Coke and I are done.
Saturday, January 26, 2013
Am I shrinking before your eyes?
I am quite aware of how many pounds the scale says I have lost since I had my weight loss surgery in December. I am also quite aware of what my highs and lows have been in my weight over my adult life. What is interesting to me is other people's perspective of my weight loss since they became aware I have had surgery.
I have heard the following comments in the last week.
" I can't believe how skinny you are getting"
" you must have lost 50lbs by now"
" your shrinking before our eyes"
" I bet you feel so much better now that your thinner"
I smile and say Thank You. If the conversation persists I tell people I am focusing on my health goals, which is true. But I think it's an interesting thing that people believe they are seeing these dramatic changes, that are not there, just based on the knowledge I have had this surgery.
The reality is, my blood pressure, blood sugars related to my pre surgery diabetes and my standing heart rate are all improved without the assistance of medications I took pre-surgery. My BMI is now .4 away from moving me out of the "morbidly obese" category and into the "obese category"
But all that said, I haven't lost as many pounds as I would have liked by now, I haven't even lost the amount my Surgeon and nutritionist expected I would in the first month. This has been frustrating to me and challenged my belief in my own ability to be successful in this process. I have said to myself, how can I have taken this most extreme step to address my weight issues, and still not succeed.
In the end I know in a logical way that this is a process, that everybody has their own path and mine is in front of me and I will walk it with the challenges that it presents me. Success is attainable and only I can define success for me.
I have heard the following comments in the last week.
" I can't believe how skinny you are getting"
" you must have lost 50lbs by now"
" your shrinking before our eyes"
" I bet you feel so much better now that your thinner"
I smile and say Thank You. If the conversation persists I tell people I am focusing on my health goals, which is true. But I think it's an interesting thing that people believe they are seeing these dramatic changes, that are not there, just based on the knowledge I have had this surgery.
The reality is, my blood pressure, blood sugars related to my pre surgery diabetes and my standing heart rate are all improved without the assistance of medications I took pre-surgery. My BMI is now .4 away from moving me out of the "morbidly obese" category and into the "obese category"
But all that said, I haven't lost as many pounds as I would have liked by now, I haven't even lost the amount my Surgeon and nutritionist expected I would in the first month. This has been frustrating to me and challenged my belief in my own ability to be successful in this process. I have said to myself, how can I have taken this most extreme step to address my weight issues, and still not succeed.
In the end I know in a logical way that this is a process, that everybody has their own path and mine is in front of me and I will walk it with the challenges that it presents me. Success is attainable and only I can define success for me.
Saturday, January 19, 2013
1 in 6 Americans Struggle with Hunger
I saw a billboard in my drive to work that said "1 in 6 Americans struggle with hunger", this sign gave me pause. What does that mean? Is that true? I would argue that nearly every American struggles with hunger.
I know that the sign is trying to call attention to people who's unfortunate circumstances have caused them to have little or no food; and that being truly hungry due to lack of access to food is an appalling and fixable problem in this country. I have participated in multiple activities throughout my life to assist with this issue, donating to food banks, a day of fasting in college to donate the funds the dining hall would have spent that day, collecting can goods with my Girl Scouts door to door, donating canned food at poker tournaments in exchange for extra starting chips, ect. But what occurred to me as I thought about that sign :
"What about the other struggle with hunger"
I come from a family of over weight people, almost without exception every member of my immediate and extended family has struggled with being over weight. This is also a struggle with hunger, this can also result in critical health issues, self esteem issues, social issues. I believe that the issue of lack of access to food is actually an easier issue to fix in our country.
We are a country with a food network, celebrity chefs, eating contests, a diet industry that is a billion dollar business, tail gating and free samples begging us to buy more food. Most of us don't know what hungry feels like, we know how to eat on a schedule, we know how to snack at a party, we know how to eat when we feel bad or are celebrating something. We have break up ice cream eating, unlimited buffets, clean your plate rules, and bragging rights for eating the largest hamburger.
After my surgery I am struggling with hunger. I am not sure when I should eat, I keep trying to ignore the feeling in my stomach when it is empty. I tell myself, you just ate two hours ago you can't be hungry. However, when I saw the Doc for my 1 month check in he said I'm not eating enough. No one had ever said that to me before in my life. He explained that I am eating too few calories to lose weight; I was putting my body into starvation mode. He said don't ignore your body give it high protein nutritional food when it asks for it, stay hydrated and the weight will go away. Seems simple enough....struggling with hunger.....a universal American issue.
I know that the sign is trying to call attention to people who's unfortunate circumstances have caused them to have little or no food; and that being truly hungry due to lack of access to food is an appalling and fixable problem in this country. I have participated in multiple activities throughout my life to assist with this issue, donating to food banks, a day of fasting in college to donate the funds the dining hall would have spent that day, collecting can goods with my Girl Scouts door to door, donating canned food at poker tournaments in exchange for extra starting chips, ect. But what occurred to me as I thought about that sign :
"What about the other struggle with hunger"
I come from a family of over weight people, almost without exception every member of my immediate and extended family has struggled with being over weight. This is also a struggle with hunger, this can also result in critical health issues, self esteem issues, social issues. I believe that the issue of lack of access to food is actually an easier issue to fix in our country.
We are a country with a food network, celebrity chefs, eating contests, a diet industry that is a billion dollar business, tail gating and free samples begging us to buy more food. Most of us don't know what hungry feels like, we know how to eat on a schedule, we know how to snack at a party, we know how to eat when we feel bad or are celebrating something. We have break up ice cream eating, unlimited buffets, clean your plate rules, and bragging rights for eating the largest hamburger.
After my surgery I am struggling with hunger. I am not sure when I should eat, I keep trying to ignore the feeling in my stomach when it is empty. I tell myself, you just ate two hours ago you can't be hungry. However, when I saw the Doc for my 1 month check in he said I'm not eating enough. No one had ever said that to me before in my life. He explained that I am eating too few calories to lose weight; I was putting my body into starvation mode. He said don't ignore your body give it high protein nutritional food when it asks for it, stay hydrated and the weight will go away. Seems simple enough....struggling with hunger.....a universal American issue.
Tuesday, January 15, 2013
Why do I bottom out before making money in Poker Tournaments
I have probably played in close to a 1000 poker tournaments. The number one goal is to "take it down" which means to win first place. The number two goal is to "make it to the money" which means be one of the people who gets payed for placing in the top 10% of the people who played the tournament. Tournament poker tables have 10 players per table so if you are playing in a 5 table tournament and all the tables are full generally 5 people will "make the money". The third goal is to walk away no matter what feeling like you played your best poker.
I believe I have a pretty solid poker game, I understand the mechanics of good hands and bad, I am pretty good at predicting what my opponents might do, I know the value of different betting strategies and I have a decent table image. Yet I am often frustrated by what feels like my frequent inability to make it past the top 20% in a tournament.
In poker tournaments everyone starts out with the same number of chips and then the game continues until one person has all the chips. I almost always outlast more than half the people who start the tournament. However, there is something that happens to me when it gets down to the last 20-30% of players. I haven't been able to figure it out and this has led many evenings of frustration as I leave the poker room.
I have tried to examine my game for a couple of obvious problems. The first, is that I may get too conservative trying to "save" my chips by not playing hands because I become worried I will lose and get knocked out before the money. I try to be very conscious of this behavior but suspect I am guilty of this flaw. The second thing is that to balance this out I might tend to take too many risks thinking that I need to make some chips so I can survive to the end of the tournament. In these situations if you don't get lucky you go home.
I suspect that the answer to my dilemma is somewhere in between. For non- poker readers thanks for giving this a read, for poker readers I would love some feedback on this topic.
I believe I have a pretty solid poker game, I understand the mechanics of good hands and bad, I am pretty good at predicting what my opponents might do, I know the value of different betting strategies and I have a decent table image. Yet I am often frustrated by what feels like my frequent inability to make it past the top 20% in a tournament.
In poker tournaments everyone starts out with the same number of chips and then the game continues until one person has all the chips. I almost always outlast more than half the people who start the tournament. However, there is something that happens to me when it gets down to the last 20-30% of players. I haven't been able to figure it out and this has led many evenings of frustration as I leave the poker room.
I have tried to examine my game for a couple of obvious problems. The first, is that I may get too conservative trying to "save" my chips by not playing hands because I become worried I will lose and get knocked out before the money. I try to be very conscious of this behavior but suspect I am guilty of this flaw. The second thing is that to balance this out I might tend to take too many risks thinking that I need to make some chips so I can survive to the end of the tournament. In these situations if you don't get lucky you go home.
I suspect that the answer to my dilemma is somewhere in between. For non- poker readers thanks for giving this a read, for poker readers I would love some feedback on this topic.
Sunday, January 13, 2013
Waiting for someone else to be hungry, the trap
I am now entering my 4th week since my weight loss surgery. I have gotten into a pretty good rhythm of eating protein rich foods, portion sizes are starting to make sense to me and I am constantly packing water with me everywhere, staying hydrated.
This weekend my husband and I went away for a couple days and stayed in a hotel. I was also playing a poker tournament while we were there. The tournament was expected to last about 9 hours. That is 3 mini meals, I would need to eat during the tournament. I packed in my purse ziplock baggies filled with turkey peperoni and string cheese. I also put in the hotel room refrigerator a protein shake.
I cruised along and did just fine. On the 1/2 dinner break my husband ordered a hamburger and onion rings and a side of pot stickers. I ate the inside out of a couple of potsickers (I don't eat the noodle part, takes up too much stuff in my tiny stomach and no nutritional value) a bite of his hamburger (no bun) and an onion ring.
I had one more of my pepperoni and cheese snacks around 8pm and that was the last time I ate that night. In the morning I woke up at my normal 6:30. I knew I needed to eat but wanted to go to breakfast with my husband, rather than drink a protein shake. When he woke up an hour later I asked if he was ready to go to breakfast he said yes, we got dressed and packed up the room to head home. As we were leaving he said he wasn't really hungry because of the large dinner he had the night before and was just going to grab coffee.
This is where I hit a problem spot. I had now not eaten in nearly 12 hours, I was feeling crabby and now disappointed that we were not going to have breakfast together. It wasn't his fault, there is no reason for him to eat when he is not hungry, but I had waited too long to eat now and had no food plan. I ended up drinking a protein shake and feeling pouty. The lesson I am trying to learn from this is that my eating cannot be depend on when someone else needs or wants to eat. I have to eat on schedule and I have to be prepared in all occasions to take care of myself.
My darling husband caught the brunt of my frustration, low mood from lack of food and anger at feeling out of control in the situation. Poor guy almost agreed to eat breakfast just so I wouldn't be upset...that's not an ok solution.
Would love to hear from readers of this blog if they have thoughts about this.
This weekend my husband and I went away for a couple days and stayed in a hotel. I was also playing a poker tournament while we were there. The tournament was expected to last about 9 hours. That is 3 mini meals, I would need to eat during the tournament. I packed in my purse ziplock baggies filled with turkey peperoni and string cheese. I also put in the hotel room refrigerator a protein shake.
I cruised along and did just fine. On the 1/2 dinner break my husband ordered a hamburger and onion rings and a side of pot stickers. I ate the inside out of a couple of potsickers (I don't eat the noodle part, takes up too much stuff in my tiny stomach and no nutritional value) a bite of his hamburger (no bun) and an onion ring.
I had one more of my pepperoni and cheese snacks around 8pm and that was the last time I ate that night. In the morning I woke up at my normal 6:30. I knew I needed to eat but wanted to go to breakfast with my husband, rather than drink a protein shake. When he woke up an hour later I asked if he was ready to go to breakfast he said yes, we got dressed and packed up the room to head home. As we were leaving he said he wasn't really hungry because of the large dinner he had the night before and was just going to grab coffee.
This is where I hit a problem spot. I had now not eaten in nearly 12 hours, I was feeling crabby and now disappointed that we were not going to have breakfast together. It wasn't his fault, there is no reason for him to eat when he is not hungry, but I had waited too long to eat now and had no food plan. I ended up drinking a protein shake and feeling pouty. The lesson I am trying to learn from this is that my eating cannot be depend on when someone else needs or wants to eat. I have to eat on schedule and I have to be prepared in all occasions to take care of myself.
My darling husband caught the brunt of my frustration, low mood from lack of food and anger at feeling out of control in the situation. Poor guy almost agreed to eat breakfast just so I wouldn't be upset...that's not an ok solution.
Would love to hear from readers of this blog if they have thoughts about this.
Friday, January 11, 2013
I am eating how many calories???
Tuesday was the end of my third week since my gastric sleeve weight loss surgery. I started thinking that day, "I wonder how many calories I am eating a day?". Being a experienced dieter I was used to this being a constant question when every I was on one of the various diets though out my life. After surgery the nutritionist and Dr. did not talk to me about calories. They said Drink 60- 80 ounces of fluids and make sure you get 60 grams of Protein in you day. So that is what I have been doing.
This is alone is a harder task than it might seem because I can only consume in either food or liquid 2 to 3 ounces at a time. It is also important that I not drink liquid 30 minutes pre and post eating solid food. In a 10-14 hour day this alone is quiet a challenge. My day kind of looks like, eat wait 30 minutes drink, wait an hour, eat, and repeat until bed time.
Back to my original question just how many calories am I consuming. I decided to start tracking what I ate using a smart phone application called "Lose It". I had used this App before when trying to lose weight and was familiar with it. The basic idea is you put in your current weight and your weight loss goal and then it gives you a calorie budget that is supposed to help you reach that goal. I have been tracking for 3 days now and I was shocked at the results. . See below the screen shots of my last three days. Keep in mind the original calorie budgets it shows are the ones set for someone my size trying to lose weight.
I knew I was eating less since my surgery but the amount less was nothing short of shocking to me
This is alone is a harder task than it might seem because I can only consume in either food or liquid 2 to 3 ounces at a time. It is also important that I not drink liquid 30 minutes pre and post eating solid food. In a 10-14 hour day this alone is quiet a challenge. My day kind of looks like, eat wait 30 minutes drink, wait an hour, eat, and repeat until bed time.
Back to my original question just how many calories am I consuming. I decided to start tracking what I ate using a smart phone application called "Lose It". I had used this App before when trying to lose weight and was familiar with it. The basic idea is you put in your current weight and your weight loss goal and then it gives you a calorie budget that is supposed to help you reach that goal. I have been tracking for 3 days now and I was shocked at the results. . See below the screen shots of my last three days. Keep in mind the original calorie budgets it shows are the ones set for someone my size trying to lose weight.
I knew I was eating less since my surgery but the amount less was nothing short of shocking to me
Tuesday, January 8, 2013
Hey Mr. Richie Rich
One thing that can help you when you are playing Texas
Hold’em or really any poker game is to pay attention to the way that people
play their hands. We all have a
personality at the poker table and learning someone’s poker persona can help
you to know when to call, raise or fold.
I found that making up nick names for people in my head helped me to
remember what others tendencies. Here
are some examples and how I might play against them.
Sneaky Squeaky – Someone who plays conservative cards
usually only playing the best starting hands for example is considered a “tight”
player. Sometimes you run into someone who talks and acts like they are a
“loose player” someone who plays a lot of high risk hands, but if you watch
their actual play you will see they are really “tight” So I call this person a
Sneaky Squeaky in my head to remind myself they are likely playing only the
best cards and to not listen to what they say.
Damsel in Distress – I
use this term for someone who claims to not be a skilled player and yet somehow
manages to win a lot of hands and stack a lot of chips. Another thing this type does is play into the
sympathy’s of other players. This person
on closer inspection usually has a decent handle on the game and is using this
helplessness routine to distract others from their actual play. Even if this person really is “in distress”
my goal is still to win every hand so I have to keep my sympathies in check
with this kind of person. Just so you
know, I use this one for men and women….
Mr. Richie Rich – There are a certain set of players who
play like they have unlimited money to lose, even when playing tournaments
where everyone starts with the same amount of chips. They raise all the time, call every bet and
throw chips in the pot even when they have a losing hand. This might result in me being able to make a
lot of money off them, but there is often a problem. The problem is that sometimes they get lucky
and make the best poker hands when they should have folded. Because they play all their hands with the
same over betting, raising ect it is
difficult to predict what hands they are playing. Personally I just try to stay out of hands
with this type of person, unless I have an excellent hand I am likely to fold
my hand rather than risk a lot of chips in a hand with someone playing
recklessly.
Monday, January 7, 2013
Surgery to 5K
About a year and half ago I read an article about a workout
program that helped people who were non-athletes train to run a 5K race (just
over 3 miles). It’s starts with walking
for 30 minutes a day, three times a week.
Then each week you add running/jogging to the 30 minutes and decrease
the walking time. The plan I was working
on started with 60 second intervals of jogging 3 times in the 30 minutes and
then went up from there gradually over several weeks. I did get so I was doing what my sister calls
“Wogging” a fairly slow jog that to some might appear as walking. In October 2011, I completed my first official
5K race in just less than 50 minutes.
Over the next few months I completed 2 more in about the same finish
time.
While I was training I was posting my struggles and success
in this endeavor on facebook. Many
people stated they were encouraged by me, proud of me, jealous of me. Some asked me how I stayed motivated. In the end my answer was that I had always
that I had assumed I would quit before I actually accomplished completing a 5K. In the end I stopped running. When I look at why I stopped, it wasn’t that
it got too hard or that I didn’t like it anymore, it was that I was frustrated
at not being able to better my time, I was feeling trapped by my body and its
inability to progress to what I considered an acceptable 5K time.
Fast forward to today, I am a few weeks post weight loss
surgery and in my mind I want to start running again, I want to become a true
runner, not the fat girl wogging down the street that people think “wow good
for you fat girl”. I just want to be
seen as a runner, not the fastest but not the last one to cross the finish and
not the one who everyone screams you can do it…because they are afraid you’ll
quit.
I am not allowed to do strenuous activity for 60 days post
surgery and a week ago I decided to see if I could walk a mile. I did it but it took every bit of energy I
could muster. This was a little
disappointing for me because pre-surgery I could walk 2 miles fairly easily.
The logical, educated part of my brain knows that I had surgery, that my body
is adjusting to the significant change in the food volume I am eating, that I am
losing weight rapidly and this changes my stamina. The driven, goal focused part of my brain
however is frustrated….
So stay tuned I hope in February to start training again and
by spring to have a 5 K lined up to run.
I’ll let you know how it goes…this will happen folks…you can count on
it.
Sunday, January 6, 2013
Variety not Volume
I have the most amazingly wonderful husband. He has been supportive and helpful through my whole process of deciding to have weight loss surgery. He had helped me through the complicated and long pre-op process, through surgery and recovery. I couldn't ask for more.
The one area of concern he has consistently had is, how we will function as a couple socially. Like most people many of our social interactions and activities include food. I kept telling him it would be fine, I would just eat less and our eating out bills would go down. I teased him about how I was going to eat a quarter of everything he ordered saving him the calories. I told him there is always an appetizer or soup that I can order and eat. Yet still his concern continued he couldn't get a picture of it in his head.
About a week prior to my surgery date we had gone to a hotel for the weekend, our stay included a breakfast buffet. I had made my plate and sat down and started eating. When my husband arrived he had a big smile on his face and he said "I got it, I finally figured it out." After your surgery food will become a challenge of "Variety not Volume". He said he had been behind a small older woman at the buffet she had a plate with many small amounts of various foods on her plate. When he looked at her plate he realized that is how I would be eating in the future.
I think he is correct and "variety not volume" has become my theme in my head since then.
As a side note, I don't think that this is a bad theme for many things in life. I can think of a whole list of things that don't improve with having more of them and things that I would like to have a little of more frequently.
Have a good Sunday everyone. And because I am a sports minded woman from the Northwest I must say "GO HAWKS"
The one area of concern he has consistently had is, how we will function as a couple socially. Like most people many of our social interactions and activities include food. I kept telling him it would be fine, I would just eat less and our eating out bills would go down. I teased him about how I was going to eat a quarter of everything he ordered saving him the calories. I told him there is always an appetizer or soup that I can order and eat. Yet still his concern continued he couldn't get a picture of it in his head.
About a week prior to my surgery date we had gone to a hotel for the weekend, our stay included a breakfast buffet. I had made my plate and sat down and started eating. When my husband arrived he had a big smile on his face and he said "I got it, I finally figured it out." After your surgery food will become a challenge of "Variety not Volume". He said he had been behind a small older woman at the buffet she had a plate with many small amounts of various foods on her plate. When he looked at her plate he realized that is how I would be eating in the future.
I think he is correct and "variety not volume" has become my theme in my head since then.
As a side note, I don't think that this is a bad theme for many things in life. I can think of a whole list of things that don't improve with having more of them and things that I would like to have a little of more frequently.
Have a good Sunday everyone. And because I am a sports minded woman from the Northwest I must say "GO HAWKS"
Saturday, January 5, 2013
Is Queen Ten (my favorite hand) the best in poker? Nope
I play Texas Hold'em Tournaments as much as I can, which usually averages out to 2-3 times a week. In this game you are dealt two cards. These are your "starting hand". You will be using these two cards plus eventually 5 cards that are dealt into the middle of the table to make your 5 card hand. Queen Ten is my favorite hand.
The statistically best starting hand is two Aces. These are the top 10 starting hands. As you can see Queen 10 is not on this list.
So why is Queen Ten my favorite hand and not Aces? Aces are great and every time I get them I am excited to see them and like my chances to win. But the truth is there is not a lot of poker skill in playing Aces and unless many people stay in the hand with you and they DON'T make a better hand like a straight or flush using the cards on the board it's hard to make a lot of money with Ace's. Generally you raise with them and everyone folds so you don't make much or you raise and then one or two people call your raise hoping to beat you with the cards on the board. For example:
You have A of Spades and Ace of Diamonds. Someone has a 10 and Jack of Hearts they decide to call your raise. If three heart cards end up on the community board, you lose they have a flush and you do not.
Also it's hard to make a straight with two Ace's because you need four cards on the board to help you:
King, Queen, Jack, 10. This the only straight you can make. So any other combination of cards that can make a straight potentially help your opponents more than they help you.
All that being said, almost all poker players have a starting hand that they favor or have a sentimental attachment to. Mine happens to be the Queen 10 especially when they're the same suit. One of the reasons I like this hand is that if someone makes a large raise before it's my turn or re-raises me after I have bet when I have Queen 10 it is an easy hand for me to fold. I know it's not a top ten hand and based on the raise I am guessing the other person does have a top ten hand. Second there are lot of hands that can be made with Queen 10 in combination with the community board that can and usually win.
These include:
Pair of Queens
Pair of 10s
Several Straights (A,K,Q,J,10 or K,Q,J,10,9 or Q,J,10,9,8 or J,10,9,8,7 or 10,9,8,7,6)
And if the Queen and Ten are the same suit and you have a better possiblity of making a flush than anyone who has a pair as their starting hand.
I like this hand so much I even have it on my license plate! So if you see an Audi TT with this license plate, wave and say HI!
Friday, January 4, 2013
First non-eating mistake
Well I suppose it was bound to happen and today it did. Today I forgot to eat. This has never once in my entire life happened to me. I could not even have imagined this being possible 4 weeks ago, even though the literature I read about my weight loss surgery told me this would happen it just didn't seem like that could possibly apply to me, a regular and persistent eater.
So hear is how it happened. I had to be at work extra early for a breakfast meeting, which meant leaving my house before 6am. I made a 8 oz protein smoothy to drink on the road to work ( a one hour communte) Then at the breakfast I had a couple tablespoons of scrambled eggs and half a sausage link. Next I went to my office where I had an extra busy day with back to back meetings and time commitments until 3:30, then I drove home. I was feeling tired and fatigued and thinking it was too early in the day for me to be so tired. I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things and when I got out of the car I was very light headed. Then I realized I had not even opened my lunch bag today. That I had eaten nothing since 8am. When I went in the store, I found some string cheese and ate it then went on about my grocery shopping. This took away the light headed feeling and filled me up for the time being and I was able to get home.
This was a big wake up call for me, I had read about people who set a reminder in their cell phone to eat regularly I couldn't imagine this would happen to me.
Happy Friday everyone.
So hear is how it happened. I had to be at work extra early for a breakfast meeting, which meant leaving my house before 6am. I made a 8 oz protein smoothy to drink on the road to work ( a one hour communte) Then at the breakfast I had a couple tablespoons of scrambled eggs and half a sausage link. Next I went to my office where I had an extra busy day with back to back meetings and time commitments until 3:30, then I drove home. I was feeling tired and fatigued and thinking it was too early in the day for me to be so tired. I stopped at the grocery store to pick up a few things and when I got out of the car I was very light headed. Then I realized I had not even opened my lunch bag today. That I had eaten nothing since 8am. When I went in the store, I found some string cheese and ate it then went on about my grocery shopping. This took away the light headed feeling and filled me up for the time being and I was able to get home.
This was a big wake up call for me, I had read about people who set a reminder in their cell phone to eat regularly I couldn't imagine this would happen to me.
Happy Friday everyone.
Thursday, January 3, 2013
Why Yes is the right answer at the Poker Table
A common thing that happens at a poker table is a guessing game related to what cards your opponents are holding. This often happens when someone is trying to decide if they should call your bet or after you have thrown your hand out, when you win a big pot of money or when everyone folds after you raise or bet, among other times. The person usually says things like "did you make your straight?", "did you have a big pair?", " did you have my pair of Queens beat?" and other various guesses.
My stratagy is to always answer these questions with one simple word, YES.
Here is the thing, it doesn't matter what you had, once the hand is over. It only matters what your opponent thought you had. Once they start guessing it's usually true that what they really want to know is whether they made the right decision to throw their hand away. They want validation that they made the right decision. By saying "yes" to what ever they guess, you accomplish several things.
1. You give them a false sense of security that they have a "read" on you.
2. People often when guessing what hands someone has guess those they are most afraid of in the situation. So now you likely know what hands they were afraid you had and therefore you have some clues about what they may have held in their own hand.
3. Yes seems like a cooperative and friendly response. I have found that this stratagy can at times result in some players randomly chatting me up thoughtout the game about what they had and how they choose hands to keep or play. This is very valuable infomation that helps me make decisions about what hands to play against them.
4. You always want your opponents to think that you are betting or raising with the best possible hand, by confirming their guesses you plant the seed that you had the best hand.
So there you go, my strategy of "yes" at the poke table.
My stratagy is to always answer these questions with one simple word, YES.
Here is the thing, it doesn't matter what you had, once the hand is over. It only matters what your opponent thought you had. Once they start guessing it's usually true that what they really want to know is whether they made the right decision to throw their hand away. They want validation that they made the right decision. By saying "yes" to what ever they guess, you accomplish several things.
1. You give them a false sense of security that they have a "read" on you.
2. People often when guessing what hands someone has guess those they are most afraid of in the situation. So now you likely know what hands they were afraid you had and therefore you have some clues about what they may have held in their own hand.
3. Yes seems like a cooperative and friendly response. I have found that this stratagy can at times result in some players randomly chatting me up thoughtout the game about what they had and how they choose hands to keep or play. This is very valuable infomation that helps me make decisions about what hands to play against them.
4. You always want your opponents to think that you are betting or raising with the best possible hand, by confirming their guesses you plant the seed that you had the best hand.
So there you go, my strategy of "yes" at the poke table.
Finding dinner at Costco
Last night I decided to stop on my way home from work and play a poker tournament. It was also my first day back to work since my weight loss surgery. I packed lunch and snacks for the day but had not prepared to be away from home for dinner. This creates two problems, my stomach only holds 3-5 tablespoons of food, making most purchased meals way to large and then my energy lags quickly if I don't have a regular infusion of protein rich foods.
I decided to go into a nearby Costco and buy a case of protein drinks. I was thinking I could have one now and keep the case in the car for such occasions.
Went I got inside I had arrived at prime sample time at Costco and it occurred to me that I could likely get my entire 3-5 tablespoons of food just wandering about the aisles. Here is what I found that became my dinner.
About 1 Tablespoon of Applesauce
About 2 Tablespoons of Tomato Soup
1/4 slice of colby cheese
1/2 slice of salami
1 Tablespoon of Fire roasted Tomato Hummas
Mission accomplished dinner eaten. Thank you Costco!
I decided to go into a nearby Costco and buy a case of protein drinks. I was thinking I could have one now and keep the case in the car for such occasions.
Went I got inside I had arrived at prime sample time at Costco and it occurred to me that I could likely get my entire 3-5 tablespoons of food just wandering about the aisles. Here is what I found that became my dinner.
About 1 Tablespoon of Applesauce
About 2 Tablespoons of Tomato Soup
1/4 slice of colby cheese
1/2 slice of salami
1 Tablespoon of Fire roasted Tomato Hummas
Mission accomplished dinner eaten. Thank you Costco!
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Don't F**k with the Poker Dealers or New Poker Players
This is my number one rule in the poker room. Sure, there are all kinds of quirky etiquette and form rules to playing poker but this rule is more important to me than any other.
First, don't pick on, ridicule, criticize or otherwise make uncomfortable anyone who is new to playing poker in a public setting (not at the dining room table). There are good reasons for this part of my rule, basic respect and politeness and that's good enough for most of us. There are others though, who consider their perceived poker playing superiority an excuse for this type of bad behavior I have this to say, "This is just bad poker". If a player is new and nervous they probably are going to make mistakes and if you are a good player you should be smiling as you collect their chips. I've also found that the nicer and more helpful I am to a new player, the more likely they are to tell me their thinking about their cards. This gives me a great advantage in playing against them, again more profit for me. Most importantly, those of us who play regularly NEED more people to play and preferably people who are not as good or skilled as we are, so we want them to come back...until of course they start out playing us!
Second part of the rule is about how you treat the dealers. They are at work, they are simply turning over cards and facilitating the game. They are NOT there to be your friend, help you win, or be your personal punching bag. Would you blame the teller at the bank if you ran out of money? Would you blame the grocery cashier because you forgot to buy milk? I bet not, so be polite, be respectful. Pay attention to your cards and fellow players, this will be of much more benefit to you than being an A$$ to the Dealers. Last, tip if you are winning. It's rude boorish behavior to pile up your winnings and not tip the dealers. I have seen players give a $2 tip to the cocktail server who brought them a $5 drink and then win $300 in a tournament and walk away without tipping the dealers..uncool.
Happy New Year everyone.
First, don't pick on, ridicule, criticize or otherwise make uncomfortable anyone who is new to playing poker in a public setting (not at the dining room table). There are good reasons for this part of my rule, basic respect and politeness and that's good enough for most of us. There are others though, who consider their perceived poker playing superiority an excuse for this type of bad behavior I have this to say, "This is just bad poker". If a player is new and nervous they probably are going to make mistakes and if you are a good player you should be smiling as you collect their chips. I've also found that the nicer and more helpful I am to a new player, the more likely they are to tell me their thinking about their cards. This gives me a great advantage in playing against them, again more profit for me. Most importantly, those of us who play regularly NEED more people to play and preferably people who are not as good or skilled as we are, so we want them to come back...until of course they start out playing us!
Second part of the rule is about how you treat the dealers. They are at work, they are simply turning over cards and facilitating the game. They are NOT there to be your friend, help you win, or be your personal punching bag. Would you blame the teller at the bank if you ran out of money? Would you blame the grocery cashier because you forgot to buy milk? I bet not, so be polite, be respectful. Pay attention to your cards and fellow players, this will be of much more benefit to you than being an A$$ to the Dealers. Last, tip if you are winning. It's rude boorish behavior to pile up your winnings and not tip the dealers. I have seen players give a $2 tip to the cocktail server who brought them a $5 drink and then win $300 in a tournament and walk away without tipping the dealers..uncool.
Happy New Year everyone.
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